How to Achieve Your Dreams (and Keep Going When It’s Hard!)
Hey guys, it’s Brendon. In this episode, we’re going to talk about—How do you keep believing in your dreams when the struggle gets too hard, when it’s challenging, when you don’t know what to do? When you are at that corner of it could go good or bad, you’re scared or you’re just not getting the support around you that would make you feel like maybe this is something you could actually accomplish or maybe you come from a circumstance where it just doesn’t seem likely at all.
How do you believe in what you’re doing?
I get that because my whole career has been in some way or another a struggle against my own doubts all along the way.
As much as people say, “Gosh you’re so confident and you’re the high performance guy” and everything else. I’m like, “Yeah but it doesn’t mean I don’t struggle.”
Matter of fact, I probably put myself in situations where I must be challenged, and I must struggle more than any normal sane person. I’m constantly pushing myself all the time because I evaluate struggle as something to be honored.
It used to be struggle was something that was truly honored by people.
They thought that was something that built character. They thought that, that was something that was good and now we’ve got to be such a convenient driven society that’s into ease and so much just I think an unbelievable level of entitlement where people don’t think they have to earn it.
I am always like, “Wait, if you have a dream. Never forget if you knock on the door of opportunity that it is work who answers.”
It takes a lot of work to achieve your bigger dreams:
- To become the best you who you can be.
- To serve more, to create more.
- To contribute at that highest level.
Man it’s a lot of work and I know I’m preaching the choir. I know you get this so what can I share with you about this struggle?
It’s been for me 20 years learning about personal development and teachingabout personal development.
It’s been my effort in everything I do. I’m so passionate about helping people reach that next level. I had to go out and figure out how to do it myself and believe in myself so here’s what I did along the way and what I advise our Olympic clients to do, our fortune-50 CEO clients and our entrepreneurs or our, those who are starting and struggling, or stay-at-home moms, it doesn’t matter. The advice is the same thing.
Four things to keep believing in the dream and advancing toward the dreams:
1. I know you’ve heard this but my question is how much do you do it? And that is—Visualization.
We call it highly engaged visualization—visualization where you’re seeing yourself doing something and you’re emotively there.
You’re literally closing your eyes and meditating on the experience. You’re seeing it, feeling it, sensing it and it’s not the kind of visualization you’ve probably been taught to do which is just all the buoyant victory, “Everything is great victory. Hey, hey, hey, everything is awesome, perfect.”
It’s the visualization where you also imagine, see and feel the struggle on purpose. Let me give you an example.
Lots of people when they’re new to performance training and they haven’t had a lot of experience, they would say, “Oh, if you’re going to run a marathon imagine yourself crossing that finish line.You know your arms up in victory, everything is great, you cross that finish line, there’s your family and they give you big hugs and you feel great still vital, energized, ready to kick some butt. You could run another 20 miles. You’re the strongest, most powerful you ever.”
Now I’m like, “Oh wow, that’s just a person who hasn’t done a lot of training or actual high-performance coaching in their life” because the better thing to imagine is what happens at mile 13? To imagine yourself running to starting, running, running strong but also seeing and sensing and feeling yourself at mile 13.
When that decision point comes to want to quit that’s where I want you to also enter the scene and visualize.
Seeing yourself struggle like:
- Seeing the perspiration,
- Seeing the heartache,
- Seeing the hurt, the pain.
That like, “I can’t run any more dude.” Seeing yourself make a decision at that point:
- To be resilient.
- To keep at it.
- To see the charge come back on your face
- To see yourself working through this struggle
Is the most important visualization you can do. What would you say to yourself when it sucks?
Not just see yourself validated.
It’s about, look, the real truth of achieving any dream is that struggle, that effort, that push and I know you know this.
So my question is, “When is the last time you just gave yourself a few moments free away from playing on the phone, free away from the internet to just sit down by yourself to visualize and day dream:
- About your dreams.
- About the activities involved in that.
- About how you would struggle through.
- About what it would feel like to be victorious?
All of it, the whole thing: the messy part, the ugly part. What would you say to yourself when it gets hard?
That’s what you need to do.
To truly actualize a dream we got to begin with seeing it and sensing it—the good, the bad, the easy, the difficult and the victory.
2. I would say the second thing that we have to do to believe in a dream, not to just see it and sense it and feel it but we got to do research.
Unfortunately, our society has gotten so lazy in their research it’s unfortunate. Especially, where I’m in here in the United States, our educational system has gotten so bad and people are so lazy and I don’t mean to speak to everybody but you know there’s a very big lazy culture right now where people won’t take the time. They won’t even read a book on their topic.
They’re like, “Oh, a whole book?”
They read a blog article and pretend it’s enough. It’s like, “No you know what? The highest performers they’re always researching and they’re doing real research.”
- I mean they don’t read one book on the topic, they read seven.
- They don’t interview one person; they interview a person a week.
- They don’t read one blog post, they read them, print them out, highlight them, create binders.
I mean, if you want to become world class, you got to know what else is out there. What other lessons people have learned. You can’t keep inventing the wheel. Someone else has already figured this out. Research them, stand on their shoulders.
What a lot of people don’t understand is Einstein while he as genius, he also was prolific in the amount of research he did on theories that had already been proven and where their holes might be. He was constantly researching everything. Not just putting new ideas into play, he was busting up on old ideas and standing on the shoulders of giants who had already made major breakthroughs that now he could apply in new areas with new insights, new metaphor, new discovery.
You got to get back into reading and understanding and paying attention. But you cannot just get into analysis paralysis either.
3. That’s why you also have to, on a daily basis, actualize your dreams.
What do I mean by that?
I’m sure you’ve, I hope you have read some Abraham Maslow and this concept of self-actualization becoming our best.
>But you have to actually show up every day and inch yourself forward toward these dreams. Not only show up every day and once in a while inch yourself. I mean every day you have to actually take an action that moves you forward. Not just research, not just thinking.
Look, the power of intention is great but without any initiative it’s dead, right?A dream is great but without any movement it’s dead.
You have to be moving towards it every day:
- You can send an email every day.
- You can make a call every day.
- You can write something every day.
- You can create something every day.
- You can contribute something every day.
But it has to be daily otherwise it will never become actualized.
The highest performers in the world didn’t get there because they were lucky. They worked at it longer than everyone else. They had a better work ethic and it’s not that they necessarily always worked harder. They worked smarter because they were doing the research. They were taking the time to visualize how they would be distinct, different. How they would survive the tough times.
They really kept at it. Keep every single day momentum going. If you don’t do that there’s no chance.
4. Last piece, so easy, fourth piece here: Community.
You need to get in a community where you can get feedback. You need either a coach who can give you some direct one-to-one feedback or community of your friends who you just go out with. May be you go out to lunch with them, once a month. You share everything you’re doing. They give you some feedback. Or you shoot a video, you send that video out to everybody, get some feedback on it. You create a PowerPoint, practice it with five people before the big meeting.
>Like get back in the game where you have a community of people who are giving you advanced feedback before you release it, feedback before you do it. So that you get smarter at all of this because nothing makes a dream come more into life than when you start getting feedback from other people about your movement toward the dreams.
Before I shoot a big sales video for one of my online courses, I’ll send it out to 15-20 people and get feedback and then I will often go re-shoot it again. Or I’ll put it out in my community and I’ll see the clicks, the conversions and say, “It’s not. Let’s do it again.”
It’s that willingness to get feedback that will keep your dream alive because look, if it’s just in your mind and you’re just doing it by yourself but you never actually get a positive community, giving you constructive feedback towards it, it will never be in the social realm.
When it is in the social realm, it feels more real—when people are actually commenting.
It’s one thing to be an artist and in your studio, painting for yourself all day, that’s great. But once you get some feedback on it and constructive feedback, you get that self-awareness and that social-awareness to contribute and create at another level.
Now along with that, watch my other videos online about how to deal with rejection or how to deal with haters. Look, you got to listen to what I’m saying. You need a positive community of people to get feedback and coaching from. But you don’t have to take feedback and read all the comments from everybody who has no idea:
- Who you are.
- What you contribute.
- What your aspirations and your ambitions are.
- Who aren’t on your path.
A tennis star doesn’t take performance feedback from anybody who’s screaming at him as he walks through the tunnel to perform. You don’t need to either.
Get people who are qualified to give you good feedback, who have your best growth, intention and love in mind, and then you’ll start to do better.
Put all of these things into play:
Always keep your dreams on the dashboard of your mind. Always, every single day be working towards that. Always get some feedback and community development to make it better. Always, always, always realize that the only one who’s ever going to give up on your dream is you and once you realize that, you get to make a decision and a stand.
Am I going to stay for my dreams and keep going at it or am I going to quit?
I’m here today, getting to share my message with you because I never quit.
- Even when I went bankrupt.
- Even when they made fun of me.
- Even when they turned me down.
- Even when they rejected me.
- Even when they insulted me.
We’re still here together doing this important work talking about life, talking about living a different quality of life that’s more energized, more engaged, more enthusiastic because I refused to give up on my dream.
My prayer for you is that you will refuse to give up on your dreams and then you’ll start to experience what we call, The Charged Life.
How to Achieve Your Dreams
You Deserve to Live a Life that AMAZES People.
“Because You’re Worth It”
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